*sigh..im home alone as always. afternoon class got cancelled and my next class is at 4pm..great...4 more hours togo woOhOo! nyehh.....

ive been wondering where exactly is my relationship with him going..it kinds of frustrates me that we are not going out, meeting as often as other couples. He doesnt even initiate any outings..it's been ME ME ME...i don't know whether im being paranoid or possesive or what shitx that i don't really want to admit that i am...which i dont think i am. sheesh im ranting like a mad woman and im sure i wont really understand what im typing also. but hey i just need to let off some steam. *sigh......he hasn't been exactly as romantic as he use to be...k wait he wasn't exactly THAT romantic last time (before going tekong for a month plus and leaving me all alone in this lonely world yader yader...) he was just more loving...doofus pointed out something yesterday that actually made me think, k wait i think all the time..aniewayx,

doofus: Have you ever felt like there's a void in your life that needs to be filled up?
me: yarh
doofus: ok i was just asking
me: i didnt ask you anything
doofus: huh?
me: ok i was just asking --------> this reflex response is usually followed after a 'why' question which i didnt ask.
doofus: oh like that eh?
me: yeah
doofus: oh now i know
me: ok
doofus: k lah i talk to you some other time
me: bye

k i think he was kind of pissed off by me being a smarty pants....and AFTER that i was pissed off that he was pissed off. dang..what a chain reaction which is quite the irritatek.grrr...i just get easily irritated by people who are irritated by the fact of others being irritated by THEM cos we know they WANTS to tell us something but keep hiding it. if u want to tell me JUST GO THE FUCKING STRAIGHT OUT!! we need more straight forward people out here who are not rude but are straight shooters.*sigh...anieyways yarh back to the point that he made me THINK: was way off course there...k he made me think of the voids in MY life that needs to be filled up. im not really sure what it is but it's THERE and i can feel it sucking me into the loophole and me not ready or unexpecting of all this...sigh...it wants to be filled, it NEEDS to be filled....but the thing is, i don't know what needs to be filled....sigh...i dont think im even making sense right now.that's why people don't really understand what i say most of the time....and that's kind of sad. i have so many things to say but haixx it'll be one heck of a long entry which i can just go on n on n on .... life just sucks...sometimes....or maybe it's half the time in my life it sucks....