Thursday, August 04, 2005 . 9:20 PM
this is kinda sad i was more angry than crushed yesterday, so i didnt really cry. but tears from a torn heart is just inevitable...
i r e a l l y d o n t d e s e r v e t h i s a t a l l
happy 4th month to us..yay~
0208 - no contact
0308 - i called him in the morning, it was ringing, but i know he tak pegang fon..it was ok for me
- malam he called...not good AT ALL
he malas nak layan me gitu. asyik busy layan-ing someone in the bckgrnd, i think its his mum n sis. called me ajer cam boh layan. me buat bodo, cos i missed him, didnt want to start another fight. we talked for merely 2 mins. then i asked he tgh watpe, he said he was waiting for his fren to call. im quite hurt by that, it implies that he didnt really want to talk to me. buat bodo lagik. the last one just made me pengz like hell. i said kalau u busy, i'll talk to you lain kali k.. belom sempat nak cakap bye, he hung up...*stares* that's three times....last one really made me blew my top off
HIM [9:59pm 030805]
Kalau kau da mls nak layan aku lagi ckp k..!! Tak payah nak buat peragai gan aku..!! Paham..!!
ME[10:05pm 030805]
Ey apre sak!sape yg,mls nk lyn sape skrng??kau yg buat perangai!call abeh lyan cam nk tknk.ey kalau kau nk pijak2 kpale aku, boleh belah ah!I DONT FUCKING DESERVE THIS.aku da bnyk sabar sey ngan ur perangai.WAKE UP AH!sedar sket sape yg tgh buat perangai n mls nk lyn!
WATEVA ARR!!
[10:08pm 030805]
Sedar sket ah dah 22 tahun. i tk perna kurangajar dgn u,jgn nk strt skarang
AR!!!!!
[12:.1 040805]
Happy (???) 4th month anniv.I dont tink u rmmber or even care.i tk tau what hppned to us. Nyt n take care
i was stunned for a moment. maybe if i didnt get angry easily, we might be ok by now. or maybe i should just stop blaming myself and stop trying to shield him.
i think this relationship is dying. its true what affan sez..it takes two hands to clap. and apparently mine is the only one that is struggling to even make a sound.
